Castle Rock, The Lip Colors I Live For, Dumb People Town, and BDE
by Jozalyn Sharp, 8/25/2018, 3:34 PM
I am an obsessive person by nature. I think it's fueled by my anxiety. I'll find a podcast I enjoy then I'll listen to two years worth of episodes in a few weeks. You pair up anxiety disorder with poor impulse control? I tell you WHAT people, you are in for a ride more unstable than a roller coaster at a traveling carnival. I do consume a lot of things because of this. I liken it to sports. Some people can name hundred of athletes and their stats. Mine is much more fragmented. Like that scene in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia when Charlie is mapping out his mail conspiracy theory in the mail room, all while not delivering any of the mail. Hopefully some good can come out of my obsessive consumption, even if it's just recommending a product to people that might bring them some joy.
1. Castle Rock, Wednesdays, Hulu
I started reading Stephen King novels at the age of 13. The first cover I cracked was The Green Mile, and I was hooked. I was fascinated by this fantasy land of horror, where every ending wasn't always happy. I consumed every Stephen King book I could get my hands on from that point forward. There is no better adrenaline rush than being home alone way out in the boondocks in highschool, reading Christine in bed, and your next door neighbor starts up his car right beside your bedroom window. I went through the roof. On the record, I've never shit the bed. Off the record, Christine is a scary ass book.
Castle Rock is the Marvel Cinematic Universe for fans of Stephen King. This show has more references to Stephen King characters and plots than Dean Koontz' personal journal. My boyfriend and I paused the opening credits a few times to dissect the imagery and call out what we found. You'll meet relatives of Jack Torrance, friends of the family terrorized by Cujo, and people whose grandparents were working at Shawshank the day Andy Dufresne tunneled to freedom. It's like a "Facebook People You May Know" of iconic characters.
The cast is absolutely brilliant. Ann Cusack rings truly cold and calculating as Warden Porter. Porter, Shawshank's newest warden, and her right hand man come across as exactly what they are, people willing to do anything to get ahead. André Holland is sympathetic, but mysterious enough to make you wonder if he became a criminal defense attorney to fight against unjust persecution or to ease his subconscious guilt. Bill Skarsgård delivers his performance as "The Kid" in mostly body language and facial expression, but somehow manages to leave a heavy boulder of anxiety in your gut. Not surprising considering his commendable performance in the reboot of the Stephen King adaptation, It.
This show is binge worthy in the best way. I cannot stop watching wondering what other skeletons the people of Castle Rock have hidden in their closets. Suspenseful, mysterious, and creepy on a molecular level; Castle Rock will leave you feeling that familiar terror in the pit of your stomach from when you still believed there were monsters under your bed. It could have been the whole bowl of guacamole you hypothetically ate while watching the first 2 episodes, but it's probably the terror.
2. NYX Liquid Suede Cream Lipsticks, NYXCosmetics.com
I have been obsessed with this cream lipsticks for about 3 or 4 years now. I own almost every color, including colors from the sister Metallic line. I have NEVER liked the way color looked on my lips if it was glossy. But I absolutely LIVE for a matte lip. They go on wet and dry matte extremely quickly. Their lasting power is more than reasonable when weighed against their price point. Most drugstores I've found the line in you can purchase these for around 7.99 a piece. Ulta often has buy 1 get one 50% off sales on NYX products and that's when I love to stock up. $7.00 a piece direct from the NYX website isn't anything to sniff at either. My boyfriend would say I own too many lip colors, and to him I would say "Shut up don't tell me what to do.".
They have a great selection of classic colors, but I really dig their shades that are less traditional. "Jet Set" is and has been my signature lip color. I've heard every permutation of the "blew a Smurf" joke there is. Hot tip people: stop it.
SIDE NOTE: First of all that makes no logical sense. Unless the dude you are blowing has concealer on his dick you aren't going to come away with different color lips. And if he's using concealer on his dick, you have a fresh set of problems to worry about.
They last through most eating and drinking and the color is pigmented to the max. Pretty kiss proof, but I've never really understood this measurement of quality when it comes to lipstick reviews. Kiss proof? Well, what kind of kiss? Is it a sweet little PDA peck or is it like a full on train wreck sloppy makeout kiss? I'd say you start to lose lipstick somewhere around a classic french. A classy one though, not like when Michael Jackson kissed Lisa Marie Presley.
These lippies are a must own for all beauty lovers in my opinion. Which to be fair, this is my blog so it's all my opinion.
3. Dumb People Town, Starburns Audio, Episodes Tuesdays and Thursdays
I remember the first time I saw the Sklar Brothers. I have been floored by what they do onstage since their 2001 Comedy Central Presents. It even inspired me to do duo stand-up with fellow comics and start a tag team comedy pop-up show called "Double Team: Take Comedy Two at a Time". Of course I'm not foolish enough to think I would ever capture the faintest whiff of their magic. However, if the Sklar Brothers are in it, I'm usually giving it a shot.
Dumb People Town! What's not to love. The inside jokes are supreme. For me, the best podcasts are full of inside jokes between the religious listeners and the hosts. It just deepens the level of enjoyment. It becomes less like listening to these three comics in a room somewhere and more like hanging out in your garage with your buddies.
Fans submit news stories to the delightful Daniel Van Kirk who rounds out the trio of hosts. These stories support the Sklar Brothers' theory that the world is succumbing to it's own idiocy. The improvised scenes inspired by the characters in the articles and voicemails from surprise "celebrity guests" (that definitely aren't DVK) leave me in stitches.
A great break from the monotony of the 24 hour news cycle we've been in for years: Dumb People Town reminds you that even in times of great peril, there's a naked person in Florida who more than likely has a sword and is one too many hits of bath salts away from cutting off his own legs all to get handicapped parking.
4. The Purse Drive for The Paul Mitchell School, Las Vegas, Collecting Donations through 9/8
I have taken part in a lot of donation drives locally since volunteering with The Helpful Hoodlums after the 10/1 Tragedy here in Las Vegas last year. Every time I go to drop donations off at one shelter or organization, I learn of another that needs whatever help they can get. As crazy as the world is right now and as helpless as that makes you feel, you can always do an ounce of good by cleaning out your closet and finding your local organizations that will use those donations for someone truly in need. It feels like nothing to you, not even a dent in the magnitude of help needed for our communities. To the person who gets those donations, it is much more than you could ever imagine. If you are in the Las Vegas area and would like to donate, send me an e-mail for more information.
5. Pete Davidson & Ariana Grande's Relationship
This is something I am just finding pure joy in. I am not normally one to be a real celebrity gossip monger, but everything about them as a couple I find adorable. I cannot stop liking their Instagram photos and watching clips of them talking about each other on late night talk shows. The unabashed way Pete Davidson talks about her as if he still doesn't understand how he landed her is the way all girls dream to be talked about. In an interview on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Ariana says she knew years ago she would marry him. SO. FUCKING. CUTE.
I love Ariana Grande. I find her to be incredibly talented, and although it may not be in my wheelhouse genre wise, her songs have become the #1 addition to my "Guilty Pleasures" playlist. Not only have I found myself loving her music, but I find her as a person to be lovely. She's charming in interviews and seems to be extremely genuine as far as most can tell. Plus I have a lot of respect for a woman in her position who has publicly clapped back at so many people (Ryan Seacrest a clapback victim). Her physical stature makes it all the more enjoyable to watch when she does. Ariana Grande is for sure #squadgoals on personality alone. She does a wicked impression of Jennifer Coolidge (Stifler's Mom), and god dang flawless in that Vogue spread. I also weirdly like that she is OBVIOUSLY near sighted and in terrible need of corrective lenses/LASIK and girl just squints.
I have no jokes for this because the internet has joked this to death. The only thing I can say is "Big Dick Energy" is definitely the description of my personal vibe I've been waiting for.